Makes you want to think

* Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
* TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
* A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
* When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
* INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
* Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
* We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.
* You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.
* My wife asked me if I put the cat out. I said I didn't know it was on fire.
* If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.
* My horoscope said that the finger of fate will point at me. Unfortunately, it was the middle finger of fate.
* Thank God I'm an atheist.
* Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
* Why do hot dogs come ten in a package and the buns only eight?
* What's the difference between slime and a lawyer? I've been looking for years, I still can't find any.
* "99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."