Friday, October 31, 2008

Thought for the Day-Close

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.

Funny thoughts-Before

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sarcastic Quotes-Lies

Lies circle the earth while Truth is still trying to put on its shoes

Humor quotes-Not failed

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Deep thoughts-Preserved

Many things can be preserved in alcohol.
Dignity is not one of them.

Funny thoughts-Speech

A speech is like a wheel -
the longer the spoke - the greater the tire.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Thought for the Day-Mistake

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

Thoughts-The mousetrap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package... "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it. "
The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose.But wish you well; be assured you are in my prayers "So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap-- alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.
In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, Remember - when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Humor Quotes-Gentleman

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

Funny thoughts-So is Life

If you have paper, you don't have a pen.
If you have a pen, you don't have paper.
If you have both, no one calls.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Famous quotes-Safe at Shore

"A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

Deep thoughts

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Motivational thoughts-YOU


Inspirational quotes-Courage

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying…
"I will try again tomorrow."

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Thoughts on life-Be good

Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

Humor Quotes-Housework

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Funny thoughts-Wrong lane

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Love quotes

"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are."

Monday, October 20, 2008

Deep thoughts-Opportunities

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.


Beliefs are like watches. Each trusts his own, but no two run the same.
- The Pope

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Inspirational thoughts-Burdens

An old legend relates that long ago God had a great many burdens which He wished to have carried from one place to another on earth, so He asked the animals to lend a hand. But all of them began to make excuses for not helping: the elephant was too dignified; the lion, too proud; and so on. Finally the birds came to God and said, "If you will tie the burdens into small bundles, we'll be glad to carry them for you. We are small but we would like to help."
So God fastened upon the back of each one a small bundle, and they all set out walking across the plain to their destination. They sang as they went, and did not seem to feel the weight of their burdens at all. Every day the burdens seemed lighter and lighter, until the loads seems to be lifting the birds, instead of the birds carrying the burdens.
When they arrived at their destination, they discovered that when they removed their loads, there were wings in their place, wings which enabled them to fly to the sky and the tree tops.
They had learned how to carry their burdens, and their loads had become wings to carry them nearer to God.
Burdens we carry for others may become wings of the spirit, to lift us into happiness such as we have never known.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Humor quotes-Faster

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

Sarcastic Quotes-Junk

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Funny thoughts-Passport picture

If you look like your passport picture,
you probably need the trip.

Visual thoughts-Worthy


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Deep thoughts-Mistake

"It is only a mistake when you refuse to fix it, until then it is only an error."

Motivational thoughts-A fascinating story

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband,dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the president of Harvard's outer office.
The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.
She frowned. "We want to see the president," the man said softly. "He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We'll wait," the lady replied. For hours, the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.
They didn't. And the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted to do. "Maybe if they just see you for a few minutes, they'll leave," she told him.
And he sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, but he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. The president, stern-faced with dignity, strutted toward the couple.
The lady told him, "We had a son that attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. And my husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."
The president wasn't touched, he was shocked. "Madam," he said gruffly. "We can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery". "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue.
We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard." The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical plant at Harvard." For a moment the lady was silent.
The president was pleased. He could get rid of them now. And the lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it costs to start a University? Why don't we just start our own?" Her husband nodded.
The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. And Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the University that bears their name, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thought for the day-Character

A person's true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching

Love quotes-Worship

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Humor quotes

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in!

Funny thoughts-Haircut

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Inspirational thoughts and Quotes

When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present…we experience heaven on earth.
-Sarah Breathnach

Deep thoughts

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
~Victor Borge

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Thoughts-Dad's Blessings

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he raised his voice to his father and said "With all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. And as he did, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss Spirit's blessings and answers to our prayers because they do not arrive exactly as we have expected?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sarcastic Quotes-Foresight

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

Love thoughts and quotes

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

Friday, October 10, 2008

Inspirational thoughts and quotes-Pressure

Don't be afraid of pressure.
Remember that pressure is what turns a lump of coal into a diamond.

Sarcastic Quotes-Borrow

Always borrow money from a pessimist;
they don't expect to be paid back

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Humor quotes-Words

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.

Funny thoughts-Difficult

Things that are difficult to say when you are drunk:

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Friendship Quotes

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."
-Charles Caleb Colton

Love thoughts and quotes

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Short quotes

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.


One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the trip?'
'It was great, Dad.'
'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked.
'Oh yeah,' said the son.
'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father
The son answered:
'I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.'
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Inspirational thoughts and Quotes-Staying down

Falling down doesn't make you a failure, but staying down does.

Famous Quotes

I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Makes you want to think

* Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
* TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
* A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
* When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
* Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
* We waste more time by 8:00 in the morning than other companies do all day.
* You pretend to work, and we'll pretend to pay you.
* My wife asked me if I put the cat out. I said I didn't know it was on fire.
* If you don't want anyone to get your goat, don't let them know where you have it tied.
* My horoscope said that the finger of fate will point at me. Unfortunately, it was the middle finger of fate.
* Thank God I'm an atheist.
* Why do people sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when they're already there?
* Why do hot dogs come ten in a package and the buns only eight?
* What's the difference between slime and a lawyer? I've been looking for years, I still can't find any.
* "99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Funny thoughts-Insurance

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Humor Quotes-Balanced diet

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Deep thoughts

Some days you're the bug,
some days you're the windshield.

Thoughts on life-Most essential words

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Inspirational thoughts and quotes-While you have it

Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; it was given to us and we're just borrowing it while we're here -- even our kids. So enjoy it while you have it.

Sarcastic Quotes-Predictions

It's hard to make predictions, especially about the future

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Humor Quotes

"Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for ten grand, he'll show you the door!"

Funny thoughts-Clicks

Too many clicks spoil the browse.