Fine line

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

Deal

I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".
- Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.

Research

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Too keep up

There are days when it takes all you've got to keep up with the losers.

Understanding fractions!

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

Funny thoughts-Kiss strangers

We use mistletoe as an excuse to kiss strangers during the holidays. Haven't people ever heard of chloroform?
- Scott E. Roeben

Sexual quotes-Like money

Sex is like money; only too much is enough. 
- John Updike

Humor quotes-If you were a chicken

Imagine if you were a chicken, and you got the other chickens mad, and they decided to tar and feather you. No one would notice.

- Scott E. Roeben

Funny thoughts-The little things

I got a miniature abacus for my birthday. It's the little things that count.

- Scott E. Roeben

Humor quotes-A new drug

I read a story about a new drug that's the first to be FDA-approved to treat bipolar disorder. That news makes me so enraged and ecstatic!
- Scott E. Roeben

For financial reasons

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

Funny thoughts-Money and happiness

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

- Spike Milligan

Hilarious quotes-Use of happiness

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

- Henry Youngman

Hilarious quotes-Finance

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

- Robert W. Sarnoff

Humor quotes-Not the most important thing

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
- Jackie Mason 

Sexual quotes-More interesting

An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
- Aldous Huxley

Humor quotes-South rising

"Whenever I hear Southerners talking about the South rising again, I start to feel like my lunch might do the same thing."
- Scott E. Roeben

Political quotes-Right to be represented

"In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks."
- Chris Patten, Former UK MP and Governor of Hong Kong.

Famous people quotes-Live next door

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
- Katherine Hepburn

Funny quotes-Judge a book

Never judge a book by its movie.
- JW Eagan