An intelligence officer with the Canadian armed forces has been arrested for passing Canadian military secrets to a terrorist group. I don't know what's more shocking, the fact that he did that or that Canada has military secrets. - Jay Leno
''A gay activist dumped glitter all over Newt Gingrich. He wants Newt to stop being against gay marriage. But Newt believes marriage is a sacred bond between a man and his wife and his mistress and the other woman he's seeing on the side.'' - Jay Leno
"The true trophy hunter is a self-disciplined perfectionist seeking a single animal, the ancient patriarch well past his prime that is often an outcast from his own kind... If successful, he will enshrine the trophy in a place of honor. This is a more noble and fitting end than dying on some lost and lonely ledge where the scavengers will pick his bones, and his magnificent horns will weather away and be lost forever."
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.
Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes, butterflies and the songs of birds, the crash of storm-driven waves, and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond. Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"How, given the canine teeth and close-set eyes that declare the human animal to be a predator, had we come up with the notion that oat bran is more natural to eat than chicken?" - Valerie Martin, The Great Divorce
Recall a recent time when someone was strongly critical of your opinions (perhaps your political or religious beliefs). Now, put yourself in their shoes - with compassion. Try to understand and appreciate their point-of-view, not to change your own opinions, but to celebrate all our human differences - in peace. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves . - Dale Carnegie
"When you have shot one bird flying you have shot all birds flying. They are all different and they fly in different ways but the sensation is the same and the last one is as good as the first." - Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961), Winner Take Nothing
A Mother was reading a magazine and her cute little daughter every now and then distracted her. To keep her busy, she tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. She tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.
She was sure her daughter would take a lot more time and probably whole of the day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with a perfect map.
When she asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, "Oh Mom, there is a man's face on the other side of the paper. I made the face perfect to get the map right." She ran outside to play leaving the mother surprised.
Perhaps there is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. This story indirectly teaches a lesson. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side. You'll be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.
Plant trees for your great-grandchildren -for future generations. Create the legacy of a better world. Leave this world a better place than you found it. Literally planting trees for your great-grandchildren is a wonderful idea,but far more important... use this symbolism - this imagery - to represent the kind of legacy you want to leave to future generations. Find your balance and stand with it. Find your song and sing it out. Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance. Find the questions that only you know how to ask and The answers that you are content to not know. - Mary Anne Radmacher
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain
The way is long and lonely, And human hearts are asking for this blessing only That we be kind. We cannot know the grief that men may borrow, We cannot see the souls storm-swept by sorrow, But love can shine upon the way to-day, to-morrow Let us be kind. - W. Lomax Childress
"All animals will not only be not shot, they will be protected - not only from people but as much as possible from each other. Prey will be separated from predator, and there will be no overpopulation or starvation because all will be controlled by sterilization or implant." - Amory, founder of The Fund For Animals, describing his ideal world, in Sierra, June 1992.
Staying up all night is a waste of sleeping, and a waste of sleeping is a waste of dreaming, and dreaming is important because the more dreams you have, the better chance you have of one coming true. - Tony Arata
"Innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea, or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we've been thinking about a problem. It's ad hoc meetings of six people called by someone who thinks he has figured out the coolest new thing ever and who wants to know what other people think of his idea."
"And it comes from saying no to 1,000 things to make sure we don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much. We're always thinking about new markets we could enter, but it's only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important."
- Steve Jobs , Interview with Fortune magazine, 2000
I don't understand couples who divorce and remarry. That's like pouring milk on a bowl of cereal, tasting it, and saying, "This milk is sour. Well, I'll put it back in the refrigerator - maybe it will be okay tomorrow." - Larry Miller
Never stop being open to new life lessons. All in the dark we grope along, And if we go amiss We learn at least which path is wrong, And there is gain in this. We do not always win the race By only running right; We have to tread the mountain's base Before we reach its height. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"Whenever I see a photograph of some sportsman grinning over his kill, I am always impressed by the striking moral and esthetic superiority of the dead animal to the live one." - Edward Abbey, A Voice Crying in the Wilderness
If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel inferior I will wear new garments. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will think of past success. If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals. Today I will be the master of my emotions. - Og Mandino
As we join hands in fellowship around this bountiful table, we give thanks for the blessings of this food and the love of these friends as a symbol of our gratitude for all the manifold blessings of this life. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Its avowed purpose is to excite sexual desire, which, I should have thought, is unnecessary in the case of the young, inconvenient in the case of the middle aged, and unseemly in the old. - Malcolm Muggeridge, on p*rnography, Tread Softly For You Tread On My Jokes, 1966
The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery. Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay. - Martin Luther
"One knows so well the popular idea of health. The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable." - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), A Woman of No Importance, act 1.
The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you. - William Arthur Ward
Now, if groups like Moral Majority have their way, there won't be any sex education at school, and our kids will be the dumbest in the world when it comes to sex. But our parents are sexually retarded too. Fear and primitive morals are creating a sexual pressure-cooker in this country and soon the top will blow. Only in the U.S. do we find children drawing a picture of a baby coming from the clouds or from under a cabbage leaf. - Floyd Martinson
One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest cosmetics companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a soap box that was empty.
Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through the assembly line empty.
Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high- resolution monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed through the line to make sure they were not empty.
No doubt, they worked hard and they worked fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so. But when a workman was posed with the same problem, did not get into complications of X-rays, etc but instead came out with another solution.
He bought a strong industrial electric fan and pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
Moral of the story: Always look for simple solutions. Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problem. So, learn to focus on solutions not on problems. "If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything; if you look at what you have in life, you have everything.
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. - Melody Beattie
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. - H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916
Be thankful for, and respectful of, old friends and new friends, good friends and great friends. Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly. Play as often as you can. Work as smart as you are able. Share your heart as deeply as you can reach. - Mary Anne Radmacher