Sarcastic quotes-The only difference

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
~Oscar Levant

Deep thoughts-Literature

Every man's memory is his private literature.
- Aldous Huxley, 1894-1963, British Author

Funny thoughts-Spouse

If you want a spouse who is smart, rich and devoted, you are going to have to get married three times.

Sexual quotes-Peak

“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”
- Rita Rudner (American Writer and Comedian, b.1955 Miami, Florida, USA)

Thoughts on Life-Learn, live and hope

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
- Anonymous

Friendship quotes-Arguments

The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments.

Famous quotes-Quality

Quality means doing it right when no one is looking.
- Henry Ford, 1863-1947, American Industrialist and Founder of Ford Motor Company

Thought for the day-Solution

For every problem, there is one solution which is simple, neat and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken, 1880-1956, American Journalist/Satirist/Critic

Love quotes-Lover's arms

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

Political quotes-Good citizens

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
~George Jean Nathan

Thoughts-Gratitude, the key to true happiness

In today's world, any action needs a reason. When there is utility there is action, or else justifying the action becomes difficult. Real
gratitude can never have a reason. It happens as a causeless flowering within you. Does the flower bloom for a reason? No! It blooms because it is its very nature.

Gratitude is our real nature. It has just been covered by layers of conditioning from society. Society doesn’t know the language of gratitude. It knows only the language of utility. It straightaway instils greed and fear in us so that we will give it the needed results. Society doesn’t know there is a path of gratitude that will give much better results than the paths of fear and greed. That is the problem.

There are endless reasons to feel gratitude. This life itself is a gift that we have received. To be born with human consciousness is the first blessing we have received. Our gratitude should start right from there. Just for being we should feel grateful.

Understand, if ever you feel life is dull, that it is not as juicy as it should be, it is because gratitude has not happened in you. Gratitude is the energy that makes your life intense and exciting every moment. When you carry causeless gratitude in you, life will be sweet all the time irrespective of external circumstances.

When you miss gratitude, very often you will be gripped with the feeling that life is sour, but you won’t know the real reason for that feeling.

Receive every small thing in life as a gift. When you take your plate to eat, see the plate as a gift. When you serve food on the plate, see the food as a gift. When you sit down on the chair to eat, see the chair as a gift. When you wash your hands after eating, see your fingers as a gift. There are people who don’t have a plate on which to eat.

There are people who don’t have fingers with which to eat! We only look at those who have a diamond ring on their fingers. We never look at those who don’t have fingers. That is why we don’t feel anything in our life is a gift.

Every morning as soon as you wake up, before getting out of bed, just try to feel deep gratitude for just being, for just living as a human being in this wonderful Existence. Similarly, every night before you go to sleep, bring in deep gratitude for just being.

Feel it in your whole body and mind. Put all judgements aside and feel gratitude. When we start feeling grateful for small things, our whole sensitivity will increase. When sensitivity happens, every moment will pass in deep awe of the happenings in Existence. Be Blissful!

Deep thoughts-Bounce

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.
- George S. Patton, 1885-1945, American Army General during World War II

Funny thoughts-Political views

People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Sarcastic quotes-Rise above

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Humor quotes-Invented

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
- Lee Trevino

Motivational thoughts-Tenacity

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.
- Louis Pasteur, 1822-1895, French Chemist

Thoughts on Life-Pure

On life's journey faith is nourishment, virtuous deeds are a shelter, wisdom is the light by day and right mindfulness is the protection by night. If a man lives a pure life, nothing can destroy him.
- Buddha

Friendship quotes-Be one

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thought for the day-Gossip

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

Political quotes-Human nature

A political convention is just not a place where you come away with any trace of faith in human nature.
~Murray Kempton

Love quotes-Cry

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

~Author Unknown

Sarcastic quotes-On record

If a politician murders his mother, the first response of the press or of his opponents will likely be not that it was a terrible thing to do, but rather that in a statement made six years before he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide.
~Meg Greenfield

Deep thoughts-Stand

Anybody can lift you up but nobody can make you stand on your feet.

Famous quotes-Great love

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.
- Mother Teresa, 1910-1997, Albanian-born Humanitarian and Missionary

Inspirational quotes-Mysterious

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
- Albert Einstein

Humor quotes-Stupid

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
- George Carlin

Thoughts-The power of language

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.
I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did fall.
My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal.. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.
Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made...

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar...

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism...
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children. Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.
So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I'm fat. Nobody will like me. I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc. etc." If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words. Notice when you or other people use them.
But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure.
If: Presupposes that you may not.
Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..
Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt.)
Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Friendship quotes-Treasure

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.
- Jewish Saying

Sexual quotes-Scholarship

“When a woman turns to scholarship there is usually something wrong with her sexual opportunities”
- Friedrich Nietzsche quotes (German classical Scholar, Philosopher and Critic of culture, 1844-1900.)

Funny thoughts-Vitality

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Thought for the day-Size of hope

"Men and women are limited not by their place of birth, not by the color of their skin, but by the size of their hope."

Deep thoughts-Health and relationships

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth.
If the marble falls, there is no point coming first.
Same with life; where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life.
Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously .
Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity.
If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years.
And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends .
Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love.

We are people, not programmed devices.

"Don't be serious, be sincere."

Start Enjoying from this very moment.

Political quotes-Best man

We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate.
~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Motivational thoughts-More

You can never learn less; you can only learn more.
- R. Buckminster Fuller, 1895-1983, American Architect and Engineer

Love quotes-Give away

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it, A song is no song 'til you sing it, And love in your heart Wasn't put there to stay - Love isn't love 'Til you give it away.
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, "You Are Sixteen (Reprise)"

Humor quotes-Mutinies

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
-Jack Handy

Famous quotes-Dreams to sell

If there were dreams to sell, what would you buy?
- Thomas Lovell Beddoes, 1803-1849, British Poet

Funny thoughts-Nature's lesson

Nature does her best to teach us. The more we overeat, the harder she makes it for us to get close to the table.

Thoughts on Life-Canvas

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.
- Danny Kaye

Friendship quotes-Born

Friends are born, not made.
~ Henry Adams

Inspirational quotes-Yourself

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist

Political quotes-Small influence

All of us who are concerned for peace and triumph of reason and justice must be keenly aware how small an influence reason and honest good will exert upon events in the political field.
~Albert Einstein

Thoughts-Scattered words

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.
In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't harm anyone..'
The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: 'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.'
The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.'
The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't know where to find them.'
The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.

'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Love quotes-Knees

Falling in love is so hard on the knees.
~Aerosmith

Deep thoughts-Value

Nothing is to be rated higher than the value of the day.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, German Poet/Dramatist/Novelist

Humor quotes-Bigger

“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”
-Jack Handy

Classic golf quotes-Child in us

Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how child like golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

Thought for the day-Everyone else

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

Friendship quotes-Age

Count your life by smiles not tears, count your age by friends not years.
~ Unknown

Political quotes-Popular Election

I like the smell of a dunged field, and the tumult of a popular election.
~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

Motivational thoughts-Laughter

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
- Josh Billings, 1818-1885, American Humorist and Lecturer

Sarcastic quotes-Unworthy

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning.
~Adlai E. Stevenson

Funny thoughts-Real life

One very fine thing about real life, it gets my mind off all that suffering on television.

Thoughts on Life-Never used up

A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer

Love quotes-Running across

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
~Jonathan Carroll, "Outside the Dog Museum"

Meaningful quotes-Qualities

The qualities that get a man into power are not those that lead him, once established, to use power wisely.
~Lyman Bryson

Famous quotes-Gossip

History is gossip but scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.
~Oscar Wilde

Inspirational thoughts and quotes-What is right

It is not who is right, but what is right, that is of importance.
- Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895, English Biologist

Thoughts-The Purpose of Pain

In the apple-growing state of Maine in America, I was visiting a farmer friend and saw an apple tree so loaded down with fruit that the branches had to be propped up to keep them from breaking under the weight of apples.

When I remarked about the fruitfulness of the tree, my friend said to me, "Go over and look at that tree's trunk down near the bottom."

There I saw that the tree had been badly wounded by a big gash across its side. The farmer explained, "That is something we have learned about apple trees. When the growing tree tends to run to wood and leaves and not to fruit, we stop it by wounding it, by cutting into its bark. And we don't know why, but almost always the result is that the tree turns its energies to producing fruit."

Could that be a parable for some of us human apple trees in the human orchard?

Deep thoughts-Grow up

“The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.”
- Jack Handy

Sarcastic quotes-Religion

"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man. living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."
- George Carlin

Friendship quotes-Radiate

Radiate friendship and it will be returned tenfold.
- Henry P. Davidson

Thoughts-Success & failure

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Inspirational quotes-Thought and kindness

A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money.
- John Ruskin, 1819-1900, English Author/Poet/Artist

Funny thoughts-Conclusion

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Thought for the day-Truth

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Quotes-Lost golf balls

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
- Mark Twain

Political quotes-Growth

All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.
- Calvin Coolidge, 1872-1933, 30th President of the United States

Thoughts on Life-Forever

Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Love quotes-Dirty trick

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949

Thought for the day-Abomination

"A man may adopt an ox, but he shall not dress it in an apron and force it to bake biscuits. That is an abomination. however, he shall lie with it, on and off"
- Revelations 11:12 (The Bible)

Humor quotes-Abortion

"How come when it's us it's 'an abortion,' but when it's a chicken it's an omelet?"
- George Carlin

Friendship quotes-Be yourself

What is a friend? I will tell you...it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
~ Frank Crane

Deep thoughts-Physician

Hope is the physician of each misery.
- Irish Proverb

Funny marriage quote

I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund.

Thoughts-What is on the other side?

A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, with tears in his eyes, "Doctor, I am afraid to die, please tell me what is on the other side?"
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know"
"You don't know?" said the sick man, "How come you don't know what is on the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door.
On the other side of the door, there was a sound of scratching and whining. As he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? It has never been in this room before; it didn't know what was inside except that its master was here.
When the door opened, it sprang in without fear.
We don't know what is on the other side of death, but we know that our Master is there and that is quite enough".

Motivational thoughts-Feed

If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.
- Mother Teresa, 1910-1997, Albanian-born Humanitarian and Missionary

Famous quotes-Change

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles;
others their principles for the sake of their party.
~Winston Churchill

Short quotes-Drink upstream

Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Will Rogers

Funny thoughts-Bright side

If you cannot see the bright side of life, there is nothing to do but keep polishing the dull side.

Thoughts on life-Good cards

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings

Love quotes-Hours I spend

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.
~George Moore

Thought for the day-Test of courage

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.

Political quotes-War between men

Before you can begin to think about politics at all, you have to abandon the notion that there is a war between good men and bad men.
~Walter Lippmann

Funny thoughts-Subordinate clauses

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses

Inspirational quotes-New day

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt, 1884-1962, American Humanitarian and Former First Lady of the United States

Sex quotes-Without being good

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.
- Jimmy DeMaret

Random thoughts-Fast enough

If everything seems under control, you aren't going fast enough.

Thoughts-Words of encouragement

A teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. The father believed in encouragement.

This young man was the smallest of the class when he entered high school. His father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game.

All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father.

His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game. It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?"

The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday." Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful team-mate back so soon.
"Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play today," said the young man.
The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in."

Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before, was doing everything right.

The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His team-mates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you've never heard! Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic!
Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it . .. . "

Humor quotes-Bad attitude

"Something is wrong here: War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kinda (expletive) you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude."
- George Carlin

Friendship quotes-Melody

In the rhythm of life, we sometime find ourselves out of tune, but as long as there are friends to provide the melody, the music plays on.
~ Anonymous

Deep thoughts-The beauty of a woman

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
Or
The way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And
The beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Thoughts on life-Obstacles

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
-- Alfred D. Souza

Political quotes-Best men

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen.
~George E. MacDonald

Sarcastic quotes-Longing eye

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct.
~Thomas Jefferson

Funny thoughts-Consultant

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

Thought for the day-Bird sings

A bird does not sing because he has the answer to something, he sings because he has a song.

Love quotes-Symbol of eternity

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.
~Author Unknown

Marriage quotes-Curtains

In marriage, the bride gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains!

Sexual quotes-Again

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
- Rod Stewart

Quotes-Led wisely

Ten soldiers wisely led will beat a hundred without a head.
- Euripides

Friendship quotes-Rub it out

If a friend makes a mistake, don't rub it in... Rub it out

Thoughts-Choose your allies carefully

A Mouse who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance, formed an intimate acquaintance with a Frog, who lived, for the most part, in the water. One day, the Frog was intent on mischief. He tied the foot of the Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they usually searched for food.
After this, he gradually led him towards the pond in which he lived, until reaching the banks of the water, he suddenly jumped in, dragging the Mouse with him. The Frog enjoyed the water amazingly, and swam croaking about, as if he had done a good deed.
The unhappy Mouse was soon sputtered and drowned in the water, and his poor dead body floating about on the surface. A Hawk observed the floating Mouse from the sky, and dove down and grabbed it with his talons, carrying it back to his nest.
The Frog, being still fastened to the leg of the Mouse, was also carried off a prisoner, and was eaten by the Hawk.
MORAL : "Choose your allies carefully"

Deep thoughts-Reason to be alive

When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
- Rita Mae Brown

Funny thoughts-High jumpers

High jumpers do well at the Olympics because it's always on a leap year

Political quotes-Separate

Politics - I don't know why, but they seem to have a tendency to separate us, to keep us from one another, while nature is always and ever making efforts to bring us together.
~Sean O'Casey

Thoughts on Life-To enjoy

All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.
- Samuel Butler

Golf quotes-Unanswered prayers

The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
- Billy Graham

Thought for the day-God loves you

God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

Sarcastic quotes-Vote

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno

Love quotes-Crawl

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
~Zora Neale Hurston

Thought for the day-Masters

Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.

Friendship quotes-Forget

A real friend is a person who, when you've made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.

Short quotes-Narcissist

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

Thoughts on Life-Early losses

In the game of life it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.
- Bill Baughan

Funny thoughts-Pregnant

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

Thoughts-Can Socialism succeed?

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also.
ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.

Old proverbs

1. A Bone to Pick (someone who wants to discuss a disagreement)

2. An Axe to Grind (Someone who has a hidden motive) This phrase is said to have originated from Benjamin Franklin who told a story about a devious man who asked how a grinding wheel worked. He ended up walking away with his axe sharpened free of charge)

3. One bad apple spoils the whole barrel (one corrupt person can cause all the others to go bad if you don't remove the bad one)

4. At sea (lost or not understanding something)

5. Bad Egg (Someone who was not a good person)

Political quotes-Imposter

A political leader is necessarily an imposter since he believes in solving life's problems without asking its question.
~André Malraux

Deep thoughts-Goodbye

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
~From the movie Annie

Sexual quotes-Enough blood

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
- Robin Williams

Life-How

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
- Joey Adams

Thought for the day-Key to happiness

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
- Rita Mae Brown

Love quotes-Direction

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Thoughts on Life-What we give

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill

Meaningful quotes-Bounce

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

Friendship quotes-Achievement

It is indeed an achievement not to make 100 friends but to keep one friend for 100 years.
~ Unknown

Political quotes-Senators with breasts

I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.
~Clarie Sargent, Arizona senatorial candidate

Famous funny last words

-> Hey that's not a violin.
-> I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.
-> I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
-> You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?

Deep thoughts-Play

If you do not run the risk to lose, you will never win. The important thing is to play.

Short quotes-Pessimism

Pessimism never won any battle.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1890-1969, 34th President of the United States

Humor quotes-Marriage definitions

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

Thoughts-Two screws

Once upon a time there were two screws fastening a vital part of a gasoline engine. One of the screws was haughty and proud of it's shining head. The second screw was quiet, intent only on doing its job to the best of its ability.
One day a speck of rust appeared on the head of the second screw. Filled with vain pride of its own beauty, the first screw began to laugh at the second. "Your head is tarnished," the first said to the second. "Look at you. Your perfect luster is gone."
The second screw said nothing. Instead, it concentrated on what it was doing. "How ugly you have become," the first screw chortled, "and how beautiful I have remained." Then it began to laugh so hard at the second screw that it failed to notice that it was working itself loose. Finally it dropped off the engine and plunged into a small pool of dirty oil below.
With the first screw no longer holding up its end of the load, the second was faced with doing the work of two. Meanwhile the first screw, now covered with grimy oil, wailed and lamented. "Just look at me! I'm dirty and filthy and all my beauty is gone. By laughing at the blemish on my friend the second screw, I worked myself loose and fell into the muck. Now I'm doomed."
Now, it just so happened that a short time later the owner of the engine started it up. He immediately noticed that something didn't sound right -- the engine was running rough. When he checked, he instantly saw that one of the two screws holding the vital part was missing. "Ah ha!" the owner said. "One of the screws must have worked itself loose and fell to the ground, but I don't see it. Maybe it fell into that puddle of old oil."
The owner reached into the oil and found the missing screw. "Look at you," the owner said. "You're all covered with grime and oil. How ugly you are. But I will fix that right away." The owner reached for a nearby rag and wiped all the oil and grime off the first screw until it shone even brighter than before. Then he replaced it on the part. Before he turned away, he noticed a little speck of tarnish on the head of the second screw. With the second rag, he wiped the head clean and bright. Then the owner walked away.
Finally the engine was started. The two screws, now equally beautiful, held the part tight. "Forgive me, my friend," the first screw said to the second. "In my vanity, I was so busy laughing at your blemish that I did not notice that I was working myself loose."
"And what have you learned?" the second screw quietly asked.
"I learned not to judge others because I have my own sins to deal with."
"Then," the second screw said, "I forgive you."
"Thank you, my friend. And rest assured, my vanity will remain forever at the bottom of that dirty puddle of oil."

Love quotes-Everything

Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life.
~Author Unknown

Life-Challenges

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
~ Joshua J. Marine

Thought for the day-Music

Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul

Funny thoughts-President

In America any boy may become President & I suppose its just one of the risks he takes.

Thoughts on life-Two sides

In the book of life every page has two sides: we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes and wishes, but providence writes on the other side, and what it ordains is seldom our goal.
- Nisami

Meaningful quotes- Past and the present

If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, English Politician and Author

Inspirational quotes-Miracle

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Friendship quotes-Mansion on sand

All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand.
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Sarcastic quotes-Love affair

I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope.
- Tynan

Thought for the day-

“As you climb the ladder of success, check occasionally to make sure it’s leaning against the right wall.”
- Anonymous

Famous sexual quotes-Swelling

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
- Dustin Hoffman

Thoughful quotes-Urgency

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.
~ Jim Rohn

Golf quotes-Tragic

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
- Robert Lynd

Love quotes-Gravitation

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
~Albert Einstein

Funny thoughts-Defining a bachelor

1) A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
2) A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
3) A man who never makes the same mistake once.
4) A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
5) A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
6) The only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Humor quotes-Choices for Women and Men

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen

Thoughts-The Necklace

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five.
Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"
Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies.
After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.
On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath.
Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green. Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.
One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls."
"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite."
"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night."
And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
"Then give me your pearls."
"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."
"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."
And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.
As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy.
And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy; this is for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.